....and I mean that sarcasticly.
During Monday's *procedure* my dr. noticed my beautiful black mole on my leg. Upper right calf on the outside.
"How long have you had that?"
"2 years or so."
"Have you had it checked out?"
"When it first came on, I called several times, but no one ever returned my call."
My dr. to the nurse - "Could you get her an appt for that? That needs to be checked out."
So, Dermatology dept. only takes referrals. Thank God OBGYN can now refer to them. They called and got me an appt. Normally the wait is a couple of months...but I lucked out and they had an appt open for Thursday at 9:55am.
Ugh. So it's off to the dermatologist in the morning to find out about this damn mole. I'm fair skinned, so a black mole on me really stands out. LOL... When it first came on ~ it was like a perfectly round bruise the size of a quarter. I thought I had bumped my leg or something. But it didn't hurt like a bruise would. So I watched it and as the bruising started fading, in the center was this black mole that decided to stay. Only over the past year it has gotten a tiny bit larger and now it is no longer flat against my leg, but raised. Sometimes it does itch. And yes, I really did try calling to no avail. No one would ever call me back and make me an appt. And I'm the type of person that I will try only so many times before just saying "F~it" and forget it. I'm glad my dr. saw it and got me that appt. Last week I noticed that it was bleeding a tiny bit - I had been shaving my legs, but I am careful to go around it, so I'm not sure if I nicked it or if it was just bleeding. All in all, not good.
*Sigh* I'm just a broken down mess...
Update: I just returned from the dr. He took one look at the mole and said it needed to come off and be tested. It can be 1 of 2 things: melanoma (don't know if i'm spelling that right) or something called "blue...." and i don't know the 2nd half to that one. This mole is bluish-black in color so that's why it could also be this other thing. I'm hoping it's that, cause I really don't want cancer on my leg and possibly my uterus at the same time! ugh. He had to give me shot in the leg to numb the area (ouch!) and then he cut it out. I didn't watch. I was too busy freaking. He had to tell me to breathe to help the pain from the shot, then he had to tell me to stop taking such deep breaths or I was going to pass out! LOL... It didn't bleed much and now has a bandaid on it. I will have to take it off tomorrow before my shower and let the water run over it. Then redress it with some ointment they gave me and another bandaid. I'm not looking fwd to seeing a hole in my leg. I'm scared to take the bandaid off.
Actually, right now, I'm just plain scared with everything that is happening to me and I wanna cry. I think I can get thru work, but I have a feeling tonight I will be crying big time when I get home to Rhett.
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15 comments:
I hope your appointment goes well, Jan.
I am sorry you haven't been feeling well. I am thinking of you.
Goodness, Jan! I am so sorry about all of this stress. I am pretty fair skinned too, and every new freckle that pops up is a little scary. But I'm like you, I just put it off. I hope they get you back in tip-top shape. Big hugs to you!
What the hell happened to your picture? I loved that photo!
Jan, like the other issue you are having, it is better to know. I am glad you are taking care of you. Be strong.
And I'm with Emily (although I will keep it in ONE comment). MY picture is gone, Jan. I so LOVE that picture. You look so happy and beautiful in it. I vote that you bring it back. :)
Sorry Em and Bob...I've been meaning to use a pic of Vivian Leigh for a long time. Months ago, I went in search of pics of her when she played Scarlett O'Hara in Gone With the Wind. I have several saved to choose from. For now I picked this one. I also comment on blogs that have nothing to do with NS, so it's kind of nice to use something other than my real photo. Some of the pics people use are really creative. For now, it stays. I get tired of using the same pic over and over. :-) Plus I felt like I was "hiding" behind that flower. Altho, it did give me a "mysterious" feeling. hehehe...
jan - i like the change in pic.. it's kewl. anyway, good luck at the dermatologist. i had one on my neck removed at my doctors office not too long ago... it was brown and raised and often my necklaces would catch it and ouch! it never got bigger i don't think but it was just so annoying! anyhow it turned out to be ok and i hope yours is the same way.
The best wishes to your health, sugar.Faith and strongness...
Greatings from Chile...
Hi Jan, Man....Sorry about your situation. To be honest, I don't know how you are functioning! Waiting in limbo for these tests results has got to suck! You are one strong lady! I'll keep you in my prayers. Take care of yourself....better yet....let Rhett take care of you ;) Jamie
jan- take a deep breath!!!! ok... we are all here to help support you. and on another note... hot damn woman!! that is the coolest gift you could've given me!!!!!!! *a black feathered high heel mini clock* i wish i had a digital cam, i would take a pic of it & put it on my blog... i will eventually.. how cool! thanks for setting it for me! if i ever need to change the time or battery myself, can i and how? whoa... thank you, thank you :))) i'm gonna put it on my desk at work!
I'm hugging you right now! We are all here for you and you are in my prayers! Go home and cry to Rhett and have a glass of wine to help settle your nerves. Try to be strong and think positively.
Jan, I am so sorry all of this happened all at once. The hole in your leg will not look as bad as you imagine, and hopefully all will be well and you will not have cancer anywhere in your body. Think positive thoughts. It's all you can do now. And if you have to have a good cry, get it out. We're all thinking about you!
Jan ~ I've had moles removed ... 3 .... on my FACE! Quit yer whinin, ya big puss!
"I don't want cancer on my leg and my uterus ... ding badda bing ding ding..." Sounds like a country song.
Keep yer chin up. We all love ya.
Wow Jan,
I know that must be really scary...I am sorry you are having all this hit you at once, but at least you will get it over with. You cry if you need to . Then pick your chin up and try not to worry, everything is going to be alright. We are all here for you and you have alot of people keeping you in their prayers. Hugs to you honey.
Let us know something as soona s you can.
I know it is scary but like others have said, it is good that you are getting things taken care of now instead of later. Hubby just had a mole removed from the bottom of his foot a month ago. It came back benign, but he is still trying to get his leg & foot back to normal from the procedure.
You are in my prayers that everything turns out well.
I had a spot removed from my leg a few years ago with the same procedure - shot to numb it and then they dug it out. Tests came back negative and then the little fucker grew back! So now I have to avoid it while I shave and that is the worse of it. If it ever changes shape then I need to "worry" so far so good.
Have a good cry - let those emotions out and then get back to you. All will be OK.
Love ya deary!
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